|Photo courtesy of Showtime|
Penultimateeeeeeee! That’s my favourite word! PEN. ULTIMATE. Isn’t it the BEST word?! Nope, it’s not the ULTIMATE. It’s the PENULTIMATE. I LOVE THAT WORD.
So, it’s the penultimate episode, you guys! I can’t believe it’s almost over! C’mon, let’s not dilly-dally! I wanna see what happens!
Vanessa…is not Vanessa. She’s quite obviously still possessed, and she has a chat with Malcolm. Holy shit, that scene, you guys. Wow. That was…wow. I literally sat here, stunned through the whole thing!
Vanessa speaks in many voices—one being Mina. Another tries to make Malcolm feel more guilt about Peter. And then not-Vanessa makes stuff fly around the room until Sembene comes in and knocks her out. Yay, Sembene! Did you see the look he gave Malcolm? Like, “Clean up your own shit, Sir.” Useless, Malcolm!
Malcolm calls Victor over, and Victor does a thorough exam. Y’know, Victor’s quite attractive in his own way…Um, what.
Vanessa seems to be herself again, and she mentions that there usually is violence when she “goes away”. It’s very interesting that she seems to understand that something does take her over and makes her “go away” from time to time.
Of course, no exam is complete without trying to seduce your doctor. When you’re possessed, I mean. Not that I’d know anything about that. Why are you looking at me like that?!
Sadly, Victor gets freaked out when not-Vanessa quotes a certain eerie quote at him, and then asks him to tell her about a demon he knows. So…still not-Vanessa then. Got it.
Victor and Malcolm have a talk, and Victor asks about Vanessa’s sexual history. Man, isn’t anything private anymore?! JEEZ.
The men come to the conclusion that Vanessa and last night’s date must have gotten it on, and that triggered some sort of OH MY F**KING GOD SPIDERS GETTHEMAWAYGETTHEMAWAY WHYYYYYYYYYYYY WHY IS IT ALWAYS SPIDERS ARRRRGHHHHHHHH. THOUSANDS OF SPIDERS THEY’RE EVERYWHERE I CAN’T EVEN HANDLE THIS TOO MANY SPIDERS….
(*returns after hitting fast forward and fleeing from the spider scene*)
So, Vanessa is screaming and Chandler comes in. Yeah, Malcolm called him, too. Nothing is secret ‘round these parts! Especially not when it comes to what Vanessa’s vagina’s been up to! HAHAHAHAHA! (I’m so sorry. I’m still freaked out about the spider thing…)
Malcolm asks Chandler if he brought his weapons, and the men all run upstairs. Um, is Malcolm going to make Chandler shoot not-Vanessa?!
The men enter the bedroom, and not-Vanessa is a MESS. She’s crouched on the floor, moaning and growling. Chandler is taken aback, but he quickly recovers and offers her aid. He takes her hand, and for a moment, they try to trick us into thinking there’s going to be a sweet scene. WE’RE NOT FOOLED THAT EASILY, SHOWRUNNERS! WE KNOW ALL YOUR TRICKSES!
Not-Vanessa asks who fucked who, Chandler or Dorian. Nasty, nasty mouth on that not-girl!
Not-Vanessa also tells Chandler about Dorian and Brona…holy hell, you guys, this is so dark. I mean, this is SO dark. I’m having a difficult time even associating the person on my screen with Eva Green right now, that’s how different and disturbing this character is. This is INSANE.
More crazy stuff happens, and Victor finally sedates not-Vanessa. The men go downstairs and talk. Malcolm explains that the Master believes Vanessa is possessed with the spirit of Amunet, which is why he wants her. Chandler wants to get a priest, but the other two kibash that idea.
Days go by, with Vanessa waking, raging, being sedated, sleeping, screaming, fighting. The men stay with her and do what they can. It’s a truly wonderful set of scenes. The score absolutely adds to its beauty. Well done, Penny Dreadful.
Interestingly, during this montage, we also see Victor self-medicating himself. Um. That’s new. I guess he’s a morphine addict. Not good.
One night, as Chandler sits by her bed, Vanessa wakes. The two talk. It’s yet another beautifully simple scene. Vanessa tells Chandler to kill her if he needs to. She asks him to make sure she doesn’t hurt anyone. I admit, I was completely fooled. Were you?
Yeah, it’s not Chandler, but a demon sitting at her bedside. She tries to fight it, but in the end, his words seduce her, and she once again falls under its spell.
Downstairs, Chandler and Malcolm argue. Malcolm wants Chandler to go to Egypt with him, and Chandler isn’t too keen on that idea. Malcolm explains that he needs to return to Egypt to get Peter’s body. The two are interrupted by Vanessa’s scream.
They run upstairs just as not-Vanessa throws Victor across the room. Vanessa tries to peel off her own skin, and she’s once again sedated.
Back downstairs, Victor’s not even hiding his self-medicating anymore. He shoots up in front of Sir Malcolm, and then goes to look out the window. Of course, Caliban is there, lurking in the dark…
Chandler enters, and he and Victor talk about Malcolm, and then Chandler shares a story about Native American’s and Vanessa having to live between worlds. It was a really sad story. I hope you listened to it. Because there’s going to be a test at the end of this recap….
No, not really. But wouldn’t that be hilarious?!
Victor asks Chandler for a favour, and then Chandler is teaching Victor how to shoot his gun. No, that’s not a metaphor, you dirty-minded people! What’s wrong with you?! ;)
Y’know, shooting a gun in the basement while a frickin’ POSSESSED woman tries to fight off a demon upstairs is a REALLY stupid idea, you jerks!
…and then Sembene comes down to tell them to knock it off. I JUST SAID THAT, SEMBENE.
Well, it was nice to see the boys have a bit of fun before they had to get back to the reality of Vanessa.
About Sembene, he’s been sitting outside Vanessa’s door, taking his turn watching her. He’s also not left the house through it all. It’s good to see that…but I still NEED to know his story!
HAHAHAHA! Just as I typed that, Chandler asked Sembene, “So what’s your story?” See? EVERYONE WANTS TO KNOW. Am I about to get my wish?!
Chandler’s theory: Malcolm saved Sembene’s life, and now Sembene owes him. Good theory, Chandler!
Sembene tells Chandler that they should call a priest. When asked if he believes in God, Sembene replies, “I believe in everything.” YOU’RE SO MYSTERIOUS, SEMBENE, AND I REALLY LIKE YOU A LOT. Seriously. I think he might be my favourite character! Oh, aside from Dorian. ….wait. WHERE THE HELL IS DORIAN?!
Vanessa is now restrained to the bed, and Malcolm takes advantage of the situation. He tries to force Vanessa to use her mind, and her current state of being, to find Mina. And now we know why he rejected the idea of a priest. YOU A-HOLE, MALCOLM.
Chandler overhears a bit of what Malcolm says to Vanessa, and there’s a big fight about it downstairs. Victor and Chandler want to do what Vanessa wants, and that’s to let her die. Malcolm suddenly wants to bring in a priest to exorcise her.
There are insults, and threats, and in the end, Malcolm tells them to get a priest.
A bit later, he asks Victor for something to help him stay awake. Victor shoots him up with cocaine, and Malcolm tells the doctor a story about his son and a mountain. Idk, I’m still freaked because HE SHOT UP MALCOLM WITH COCAINE. I mean, was that normal back then?!
The priest arrives, and he argues with Sir Malcolm. He cannot perform an exorcism, it’s forbidden. Finally, Victor speaks up and tells the priest to just give Vanessa the last rites and get out of the house, “You ridiculous man.” Ha! You go, Victor!
They take the priest upstairs, and he’s shocked at the sight of Vanessa. He begins the ritual, but not-Vanessa has other plans. She breaks her restraints, and BITES THE PREIST’S EFFING CHEEK OFF. YES, SERIOUSLY.
Malcolm grabs the priest and runs. Then not-Vanessa jumps around the room, lands on the ceiling, busts out the windows with her magic powers, forces Victor out the door and slams it shut, leaving just Chandler and his loaded gun. NO, THAT’S STILL NOT A METAPHOR, WHAT IS EVEN WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!
Vanessa briefly comes back, and begs Chandler to kill her. He can’t do it. Instead, he exorcises her with his St. Jude necklace (remember I said that thing would come into play? BOO-YEAH).
He exorcises her. With his necklace. HE EXORCISES HER. WITH HIS NECKLACE. HOW THE F**K DOES THAT HAPPEN?! Was he going to be a priest?! HOW THE HELL DID HE KNOW WHAT TO DO?! AND WHY THE F**K DIDN’T HE DO IT BEFORE SHE GOT SO BAD?! YOU’RE AN IDIOT, CHANDLER!
…and then he just leaves. OH MY GOD THIS SHOW WHAT IS EVEN GOING ON.
Lastly, Vanessa wakes up and tells Malcolm that she knows where Mina is. Of course she does.
Okay, so instead of giving my thoughts, like I do at the end of every episode, I’m going to give my predictions for next week’s finale!
1) Brona will die.
2) Brona’s death will cause Chandler to wolf-out.
3) Victor will turn Brona into a bride for Caliban.
4) Chandler will still love her.
5) More Malcolm secrets will be revealed.
6) Sembene will do something cool.
7) We’ll learn the truth about the Master (Dracula?)
8) There will be a large, freaky battle.
9) Dorian will be sexy.
10) Chandler’s past will catch up with him somehow (but that will also drag into season 2)
Once more, into the fray, you guys! Until next week!