Doctor Who: The Magician's Apprentice

Hello, Whovians! Welcome to series 9! I AM VERY EXCITED! I have such high hopes for this season, seeing as it’s (OMG SPOILERS!) Jenna’s last as a companion. I’m not at all a Clara fan (although I adore Jenna), but I truly hope she gets the send-off she deserves. And now, on to the premiere!

On a battlefield, a soldier spots a boy running where he doesn’t belong. The soldier follows, and they both get caught in a “hand mine”. Good god, that’s some creepy stuff right there. Eye-hands that suck you underground. NOPE.

After the soldier is sucked beneath the earth, the Doctor randomly shows up in the field. Apparently he was looking for a bookshop, and he ended up on the battlefield. The Doctor tries to help the boy and tosses his sonic screwdriver over. He asks the boys’ name, and the boy replies, “Davros.” OH MY GODDDDDDDD WHAT WHAT WHAAAAAAT?!? WHAT IS HAPPENING?? HOW….WHO…..WHAT?!?!?!

Ahem…Sorry…..Um, the Doctor is now obviously conflicted. He’s not sure what to do. I mean, this child will grow up to create the most evil beings in all of time and space. They will destroy planets, commit genocide, start the Time War that kills off the Time Lords…Of course; I’m talking about the Daleks. What would YOU do?
Queue opening credits!

Meanwhile, a creepy snake-type guy riding an invisible Segway is searching for the Doctor. He asks around the universe; In the Maldovarium, on the Shadow Proclamation, and finally on Karn, where he leaves a message. Davros is dying, and wants to see the Doctor one last time. “Davros knows. Davros remembers.” 

Um, wut. Davros is ALIVE?! Again?!?! And apparently he still has the Doctor’s sonic screwdriver! Davros tells the snake-guy to find the Doctor’s friends. That’s the sure way to find the man himself.

In school, Clara is teaching a class when she spots something odd out the window. A plane is just hanging in the sky. We find out that it’s all planes, all over the world. They’re just frozen in the sky, and Clara dashes off to UNIT HQ to help out.

Clara and Jemma realize that the planes are merely a message from someone who wants the Doctor’s attention. Queue Missy, texting her favourite song on the Doctor’s private UNIT channel! She summons UNIT and Clara to a parley.

Missy explains to Clara that the Doctor has left his confession dial—a Timelord will—with his closest friend. Clara assumes the confession is meant for her, but NOPE! It’s Missy he’s left it to.  The girls have a chat, Missy proves her continued evilness by killing a couple of UNIT agents, and Clara convinces Missy to unfreeze the planes. They hunker down with UNIT and try to figure out where the Doctor would go to have a last hurrah. It’s pinpointed to 1138AD, and off go Clara and Missy with the help of Missy’s vortex manipulator. She slips another on Clara’s wrist, and syncs it to her own.

They land in an arena of some kind. The Doctor makes an EPIC entrance, playing the Doctor Who theme song on an electric guitar while wearing sunglasses and riding on top of a tank! It’s bloody beautiful! He makes a few really bad dad jokes, plays “Pretty Woman”, hugs Clara, and leads a “dude” chant. It really is a fun, adorable scene.

Sadly, even adorable scenes have to end, and snake-guy shows up in the arena. Missy and Clara led him right to the Doctor. Snake-guy literally turns into a snake, explains that Davros knows and remembers, and tosses the sonic screwdriver onto the ground. In a flashback, the Doctor remembers leaving young Davros alone on the battlefield. He just gets into his TARDIS and leaves. Poor kid. 

The Doctor agrees to go with the snake-guy. Clara and Missy ain’t havin’ that, and despite the protests of the Doctor, they’re also taken along to see Davros. Bors is then revealed to be a Dalek slave, and he finds the TARDIS. The Daleks have procured the TARDIS.

On the trip to see Davros, the Doctor explains to Clara who Davros is and how he made the Daleks. They enter Davros’s hospital ship, and the Doctor is led away to see the man himself. As he exits, the Doctor says one word, “Gravity.” Missy explains to Clara that the gravity is more like a planet than a ship. She easily breaks her restraints, and the two take a walk outside.

In Davros’s chamber, we’re shown many wonderful flashbacks of former Doctors and his run-ins with Davros. We see the Sixth, Seventh and Tenth Doctors, and most importantly, we see the Fourth. His words ring clear, “If someone who knew the future had pointed out a child to you, and told you that that child would grow up totally evil, to be a ruthless dictator who would destroy millions of lives. Could you really kill that child?” So, um…wow. Nice, nice callback, Mr. Moffat. That was really wonderfully done. And the point is made to our most recent Twelfth Doctor.

Missy with Clara walking outside, and the Doctor with Davros inside, both realize at the same time where they are. Davros has brought them back to Skaro, where it all began. Where else would Davros go to die? The Doctor is trapped in Davros’s chamber, and Missy and Clara are brought into a room with the TARDIS. It’s full of Daleks…all different types of Daleks from many different episodes. Missy tries to get them to keep her alive by telling them that they need her. It doesn’t work. She is exterminated. The Doctor begs Davros to save Clara. Clara runs. It doesn’t help. She is also exterminated. The Doctor is devastated. Davros wants to hear the Doctor say it just once, “Compassion is wrong.” And the Daleks begin to destroy the TARDIS.

We flash back to young Davros on the battlefield. The Doctor has returned, and he’s going to save his friends, the only way he can…with extermination! And a Dalek gun! WHOA! CLIFFHANGER!

IS EVERYONE OKAY?! DEEP BREATHS, YOU GUYS! Jeez. JEEZ.

So we all know there’s no way Clara and Missy are dead, right? Remember the vortex manipulators? Clara’s is synced to Missy’s? They got out safe for sure. And how about young Davros? Do you think the Doctor is going to kill him? No way, dudes. He’s totally going to shoot a path through the hand mine. Teach compassion by showing compassion, right?

But is Davros really dying? Will Moffat actually kill him off this time? (I’m gonna vote no)
Is the TARDIS okay? (I’m gonna say yeah. No way can Dalek guns destroy that old girl)\

All in all, it was a good episode. I enjoyed it. I wish it had been a regular episode, and not a premiere. I expect more from premieres. I expect…well, I expect The Eleventh Hour, or Rose, or Smith and Jones, or Partners in Crime. I expect huge, massive, brilliant, fun premieres, and this one was just okay. However, I enjoyed this one way more than Deep Breath, so we’re already taking a step in the right direction this season.

Favourite lines:

Missy: “Okay, cutting to the chase: not dead, back, big surprise, nevermind.”

Missy: “Since always. Since the cloister wars. Since the night he stole the moon and the president’s wife. Since he was a little girl. One of those was a lie, can you guess which one?”

Bors: “Dude! What is that?!”

The Doctor: “When do I not see you?”

The Doctor: “I spent all day yesterday in a bow tie. The day before in a long scarf. It’s my party, and all of me is invited.”

The Doctor: “Davros is my arch-enemy. Why would I want to talk to him?”
Missy: “But, wait, hang on a minute. *Davros* is your arch-enemy now?”
The Doctor: “Hush!”
Missy: “I’ll scratch his eye out.”

Missy: “I know traps, traps are my flirting, this is a trap.”

As I mentioned above, I have high hopes this season, and I’m so glad I’m able to share my thoughts and theories here with you guys. Until next week!