Doctor Who: The Caretaker

I…I don’t know how I feel about this episode. Directly after I finished watching The Caretaker, I thought I’d enjoyed it. It was fun, amusing, light, and reminded me a bit of The Lodger, an episode I love. But after sleeping on it, the small nit-picky things started to add up in my brain, and I realized that I didn’t like it as much as I thought I did.

Nit-picky things like the way the Doctor treats Clara sometimes. Why does he have to constantly insult her appearance? That’s not funny anymore. The Danny/Clara romance. Yep, I’m going back to that again. I just wish it wasn’t there. The new character, Courtney. Omg, I hate her. I really hope she gets better because I don’t think I can put up with her for very long (and if one of my theories is correct—see below—I may not have to. WINK, WINK).  We’ve just seen this before, y’know? The companion with the boyfriend who has to hide her adventures from him. Like Rose and Mickey. Like Amy and Rory. Why do we have to do this again?

So this was just another okay episode for me. But okay is better than ‘meh’. It was enjoyable, it was fun, it did have some amusing bits. It just wasn’t a home run, fantastic, can’t beat this, ever episode for me.

Let’s get on to it, then!

We open with a sweaty Doctor and companion chained up on a hot planet. They’re bickering about how they’re going to get free. And then a bunch of quick flashes—On a date with Danny, who notices that Clara is much more tanned than she was—Flash--the Doctor in the TARDIS beckons to Clara and mentions fish people—Flash--in a cab with Danny, Clara is very wet and has seaweed in her hair—and it continues in this manner for a few more flashes. I’m dizzy now.

So, yeah, basically Clara is having a hard time trying to have a normal dating life while travelling through all of time and space. Fortunately, the Doctor has decided that he needs to go undercover for a while, and Clara can’t go with him. They have a finger-snapping TARDIS-door-opening argument, and Clara exits. I guess she’ll, “See him when she sees him.”

At Coal Hill School—and by the way, this would have been a PERFECT episode for an Ian Chesterton cameo. It makes me sad that they didn’t add one—Clara and Danny arrive separately, at the same time. The new character, Courtney, is on the steps, giggling at them. Danny and Clara discuss how busy Clara’s been lately, and she promises that the next few days are all about him. Unfortunately, that’s a lie…

At a staff meeting, a new caretaker is introduced. His name is John Smith, but most people call him The Doctor…

Clara gets the Doctor alone and confronts him. He won’t tell her why he’s there…yet. But there is a River mention, which is fun. It’s often difficult to remember that this is the same man that *is* still married to River Song!

Outside, a police officer hears a noise and enters an abandoned building…full of mannequins. We see those a lot in Doctor Who, don’t we? Pesky autons. But this time, it’s not the mannequins we have to worry about. It’s a skittering, robotic alien thing, and it kills the police officer.

At the school, Clara finds the Doctor…eventually. As she makes her way to him, she’s stopped by students and teachers alike, and Courtney is one of them. Courtney says…something?...to Clara. I can’t understand what it is she says, even after rewinding and turning the volume way up. Neither can Clara, apparently. Since it happens more than once, I’m guessing it’s important, and we’ll hear more of it in upcoming episodes?

The Doctor is attempting to fix something, and Danny is watching on. Clara eavesdrops as the Doctor insults Danny. We’re again shown that the Doctor isn’t at all fond of soldiers. Yet another thing that will be explained, eventually? Danny leaves, and Clara brings up his last name; Pink. She tries to remind the Doctor of another Pink they recently met, and he doesn’t remember at all. Is he lying? Hmm.

The Doctor places a small blinking device inside the electrical box and asks Clara about her boyfriend. Clara is immediately stopped by a teacher who looks pretty much exactly like the Eleventh Doctor, complete with an adorable mop of hair and a bow tie. Of course, our new Doctor assumes that this is the boyfriend.

We now go into a small montage of the Doctor doing his caretaker duties and placing small blinking devices around the school, and of Clara doing her teacher duties. In a hilarious scene, the Doctor sees Clara disciplining a couple of student, and whistles a familiar line from Pink Floyd’s “Another Brick in the Wall” at her. I loved that little touch.

The Doctor returns to his workshop, where he’s hidden the TARDIS. Courtney enters, looking for paper towels. She inquires about the blue box, and about the green glow that was coming from inside the box. The Doctor brushes her off, and as she exits and Clara enters, Courtney again says something to Clara that I can’t understand at all. Is it in a different language, or am I just bad at hearing the accent?

The Doctor finally tells Clara why he’s there. He’s searching for an alien—a Skovox Blitzer, one of the deadliest creatures in the galaxy. He then brings out a new toy—a watch of invisibility! …so where was this when he’s needed it a thousand times before?! Are we just creating new tech for the purpose of one story again?! This watch will probably never be seen after this episode. Ugh. UGH. I hate that.

Right, so the Doctor explains how he’s going to catch the Skovox—he’s going to activate the blinky things, keep it from scanning him with the watch of invisibility, and suck it into a time vortex. Easy-peasy!

The Doctor brings up Clara’s boyfriend, but there’s a miscommunication. He’s actually talking about the Eleven doppleganger, and she thinks he means Danny. He says that he likes the boyfriend, and essentially approves because he thinks she’s pretty much dating his former self. Um. Wat.

Later that night, the Doctor hunts the Skovox, Clara hunts for the Doctor, and Danny finds blinky things. The Doctor, while invisible, finds the Skovox. It chases him into the school, where Danny sees them. Danny is almost killed by the Skovox, Clara finds them both and tries to pull Danny to safety. The Doctor gets the Skovox into the time portal, yells at Danny for deactivating the blinky things, and Danny finally realizes that something isn’t right here…

The Skovox is gone, but it’ll be back. In three days. And now they need a new plan, because it saw the Doctor, and it’ll kill him on sight. Danny—who the Doctor now calls P.E.—questions Clara. He understands that she’s a space woman. Clara says it’s all a play…apparently she thinks her boyfriend is an idiot.

Danny realizes who the Doctor really is…he thinks he’s her dad. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Clara tells the Doctor that Danny is her boyfriend. The Doctor denies that for a while, and Clara admits that she loves Danny. The Doctor is jealous. JEALOUS. That’s very apparent, and it’s kinda sad.

Clara finally admits to Danny that the Doctor is an alien, and that they’re time travellers. She shows him the TARDIS, and now Danny is in the elite “I know the Doctor club.”

Danny asks if the Doctor brought the Skovox, and the Doctor denies that. He’s absolutely lying. Earlier he said that the Skovox was there because it was attracted to the arton energy. Only one thing creates arton energy. The TARDIS. It’s because of the Doctor’s frequent travels to London that the Skovox decided to visit.

Danny wants to call in the army, and the Doctor rudely forces both Clara and Danny to leave. Clara takes Danny home, where she explains everything.  She tells him that she travels with the Doctor because of the things she sees and feels. Danny is—understandably—very upset. Clara has lied to him for months. Yet, I can also understand Clara’s thinking. How do you explain time travelling to a muggle? Tough spot to be in, Clara.

Clara steals the invisibility watch and gives it to Danny. They’re going to hide him so that he can see that she interacts exactly the same way with the Doctor as she’s described to him already. Because he doesn’t trust her, I guess? This is a tricksy plan, and I don’t like it at all.

Invisible Danny watches on as Clara and the Doctor bicker. The Doctor calls her bluff—he knows Danny is there--and Danny shows himself. This is when Danny goes off on the Doctor, and y’know, I think I like it. The Doctor has been such a jackass to Danny—and to Clara—and Danny finally calls him on it. Danny treats the Doctor as he would treat an officer; with respect, and as an authority figure. The Doctor hates it and gets yelly. He kicks Danny out of the TARDIS, and Clara leaves with him.

Courtney enters, and asks about the blue box again. The Doctor tells her, and shows her exactly what it is. So, um….what? Okay, then. I guess we’re just going to tell anyone about it, then?

Courtney asks if she can travel with the Doctor, and he says he’ll let her know. He may have a vacancy,

Oh, it’s also parents night at Coal Hill School, and Danny and Clara talk to Courtney’s parents.

Surprisingly, the Skovox returns early; much earlier than expected. And during parents night. The Doctor, looking very ghostbuster-like, beckons to Clara. He needs assistance. Danny sees the Doctor beckoning, and follows. The Doctor screams at him a bit, and then tells Clara what she needs to do.

Yet again, we’re shown how much different this Doctor is from our last incarnation. This one uses Clara as bait, and doesn’t tell her that that’s what she is. Eleven would never have done that.

Clara attracts the Skovox, and it follows her. Danny follows them both, and saves the world with some quick thinking and acrobatics when the Doctor’s plan fails and the Skovox initiates its self-destruct. The Doctor finally makes the Skovox shut down, and the threat is over.

Then the touching crap happens with Danny and Clara. Danny tells the Doctor that he’ll be good enough for Clara, blah, blah.

The Doctor gets rid of the Skovox in outer space, and Courtney is with him in the TARDIS. She’s not big on space travel, and pukes.

Clara and Danny are snuggled up watching TV, talking. Danny mentions things that are some huge foreshadowing. That’s the only reason that I can think of for the whole scene. Danny says that the Doctor will push her to do things that she’d never think of doing. Clara tells Danny that she trusts him. Danny makes her promise to tell him if the Doctor ever pushes her too far. If she breaks that promise, they’re over.  So…what’s the Doctor going to do that pushes Clara too far, and makes her lie to Danny about it?

And, finally, we get another glimpse at Missy and the promise land. The police officer that the Skovox killed early on is telling a new gentleman what happened to him. This part of the promise land—also called the Nethersphere--looks very different. It’s a plain white corridor, with while furniture. The Police officer exclaims, “God.” The man—is he supposed to be like St. Peter at the pearly gates?—says, “She’s a bit busy now”, and out comes Missy. So, Missy is God? That’s what we’re led to believe. Interesting plot development!

So that was a fun episode, with many funny lines, but it mostly fell flat for me. However, I do have a few theories that came from this episode!

Thoughts and theories:

-Because of the next time trailer, I believe that the Doctor is going to sacrifice Courtney. This will be the thing that pushes Clara too far, and will be the beginning of the end of her travelling with the 

Doctor. Or…that’ll be what we’re led to believe. Whether or not Clara leaves is still up for debate.

-What’s the pin on the lapel of the new intake guy in the Nethersphere? I think Missy wears a similar brooch.

-Who’s the new Nethersphere guy?

-Again, who’s Missy?

-What’s the Nethersphere, exactly?

-Why are the people who end up in the Nethersphere there? Why them, specifically? Is it because their deaths are all caused by the Doctor?

-Why is Courtney important? Is she just a plot device?

-Will Danny travel with the Doctor and Clara now that he knows everything?

-Why does this Doctor hate soldiers so much?

Best Lines:

“Why have you got two jackets? Is one of them faulty?!”

“So you recognize me then.”
“You’re wearing a different coat!”
“Saw straight through that.”

“The walls need sponging, and there’s a sinister puddle…”

“The door. It says, keep out.”
“No, it says, go away humans.”

“Crocodileopolis. They worship a big crocodile there, so the name is a useful coincidence.”

“How can you think that I’m her dad when we both look exactly the same age?!”

“It’s a mistake, you’ve made a boyfriend error.”

From the trailer, next week’s episode looks scary, dark, and really, really good! See y’all then!

Doctor Who: Time Heist

Guys, I REALLY liked this episode! Like, I REALLY, REALLY liked it! It was fun, and fast-paced, and I loved the characters, and the plot, and the whole story! What a fun, brilliant episode! It feels like this season has taken a complete 180 degree turn and I love it!

Now, even the best, most amazing episodes of Doctor Who are tough to recap. I worry about leaving important things out, and they often get so long that people are too intimidated to read it….kinda like last week’s!

This week, I find myself in a similar situation, but not because it’s a top ten type of episode—although it is so, so good! This episode was just really, really dense. There was so much going on, and I’m afraid I’m going to leave something out!

This definitely isn’t one for the kiddies, guys, and in a way, I found it much more dark and disturbing than Listen was. The Teller is a terrifying creature!

Here we go!

The Doctor wants to spend time with Clara, but she has another date with Danny. I love her outfit, by the way. Sorry, had to mention it. It’s cute. ;)

Unfortunately—or fortunately?—the TARDIS phone starts to ring. Only a few people in the universe have that number, including some woman in a shop. Again, a mention about that woman! Interesting…

The Doctor answers the phone, and, POOF!, he and Clara are suddenly sitting at a table holding memory worms! You guys remember memory worms, right? They eat memories, and now the Doctor, Clara, and the two strangers at the table have no idea where they are, or why they’re there.

A recording tells them that they’ve all agreed to the memory wipe, and it gives a little bit of info about the strangers. Psi is an augmented human, and Saibra, as we find out a bit later, is a shape-shifter.

That was a GREAT cold opening!

The recording also tells them that they’re there to rob the most secure bank in the galaxy, that bank security is after them, and that everything they need to know is in a case in front of them.

In another part of the bank, Miss. Delphox gets a call from the bank security, who have apparently touched the memory worms…

Miss. Delphox calls for ‘the Teller’. Oooh, what’s that precious? What’s The Teller?

The Doctor finds out more about his new friends—Psi is a former bank robber, and Saibra can change form into anyone she touches. Well that’s handy, innit?!

Saibra shifts into a bank customer, and the heist begins! In the bank, they come across Miss Delphox and The Teller. He’s frickin’ terrifying, but that’s some damn good CGI/make-up effects! So The Teller can scan people’s thoughts for lies and guilt, and then he wipes their memories, leaving their skull disgustingly concave. It’s freakin’ gross!

The Doctor and Friends enter another part of the bank, and Psi pulls up a bank schematic. The Doctor finds a bomb in another case, and blows up the floor; although it doesn’t exactly blow up. The bomb is a dimensional shift bomb, and it just displaces the, er…matter, I guess? The Doctor easily puts the floor back the way it was after they’ve all climbed through, and security has no idea where they’ve gone.

Oh, and yeah, security is still after them because Miss Delphox has realized that the dude the Teller erased wasn’t actually the right target. MAN THAT’S GOTTA SUCK! Now he’s got a dented head and no memory, all because of a mistake!

Team Not-Dead finds another case left by the architect, and the Doctor explains that the reason their memories had to be wiped is because, well, the more they know, the more guilt they’ll feel. The more guilt they feel, the louder they project that guilt, which means the Teller can hear them, and find them. SO that’s a neat explanation!

They open the case and find…something. An alarm goes off, and Clara stays with Psi as the Doctor and Saibra go to investigate. Psi tells Clara that he wiped his own memory to prevent anyone finding out about his friends and family during an interrogation. Well that’s sad. Now the guy has no idea who his family is!

The Doctor tells Saibra that the things that were in the case were an “exit strategy”. Saibra tells the Doctor that no one can touch her. If they do, she’ll transform, and no one wants to see their own eyes looking back at them.

Team Not-Dead meet back up and they find memory wiped people in a cell. So, ew.

Another alarm goes off, and Team Not-Dead run into another area. They find themselves in the room where the Teller’s, um…cell? Box? Prison…is located. The Teller is in forced hibernation, but then it locks on to Clara’s mind. She needs to keep her mind blank, but it wakes up anyway. The team runs, but the Teller then locks on to Saibra. The Doctor knows she’s doomed, and so he gives her one of the ‘exit strategy’ things. Basically, it’s painless, instant death. Saibra takes it, but firsts he calls the Doctor a ‘good man’. Isn’t that a theme this season? Hmm.

The rest of Team Not-Dead escapes, and they find another case.

Meanwhile, Miss Delphox releases the Teller into the tunnels to find Team Not-Dead.

In the case, Clara finds a card and stashes it in a pocket.  The team hears the Teller coming, and the Doctor tells them they need to split up. Before they do, he gives Psi an ‘exit strategy’. Here’s another big hint that the Twelfth Doctor is so not the Eleventh. Eleven would never split up from Clara, right? Of course right.

Psi hooks himself up to the bank computer, and begins to unlock the vault.

Clara runs, but the Teller finds her.

Psi saves her life by downloading dozens of thieves and villains into himself. Didja catch a glimpse of those faces? See any familiar? HOW ABOUT CAPTAIN JOHN FRICKIN’ HART FROM TORCHWOOD! I also saw a weevil, a Slitheen, an Ice Warrior, the Trickster, a Sensorite, the Sheriff from A Town Called Mercy…that was a ton of great nods to previous episodes!

The Teller goes after Psi, who uses the exit strategy. RIP, Psi. I really liked you!

The bank vault fails to open, and then a solar storm happens. This makes the Doctor realize that this isn’t just a bank heist; it’s a time travel heist.

The vault unlocks, and Clara and the Doctor use the card that was in the last case to find the boxes they need.

In one box, for Psi, was a circuit that would give him his memories back. In the second box, a gene suppressant for Saibra, that would make her normal. For Clara and the Doctor? Well, their item is in the personal vault. Unfortunately, the Teller finds them before they can get to it.

It takes them to Miss Delphox, who orders them killed, and then takes the Teller back to its prison.

BUT GUYS, PSI AND SAIBRA AREN’T EVEN DEAD OH MY GODDDDD I’M SO HAPPY! Saibra has changed her face, and Psi takes off his helmet! They were the guards all along, hooray! Apparently the ‘exit strategy’ takes them to a ship in orbit?! WHAT?!

The Doctor gives Psi and Saibra their rewards from the vault, and Team Not-Dead makes their way to the private vault.

Here they meet the bank owner herself, Director Karabraxos. And she looks exactly like Miss Delphox. Apparently she clones herself to ensure she gets the best security. Whoa, weird.

 The Director is going to kill her clone, and this causes the Doctor to have one of his epiphanies—I do love those—He realizes that HE IS THE ARCHITECT!

He gives the Director his TELEPHONE NUMBER, YOU GUYS. She takes off with a bunch of her treasures.

The Doctor realizes that there were 6 exit strategies, and he knows he’s on the verge of understanding what’s going on. The Teller arrives, and the Doctor allows it to go through his memories.

The Doctor remembers everything. The Director, now old and with many regrets, was the one that called him and asked him to rob the bank. He remembers picking up Psi and Saibra, placing the cases, being the architect. THIS IS BRILLIANT, YOU GUYS.

The Doctor realizes tells the Teller that he’s free to do what he wants to do…and the Teller opens the private vault. Inside is another Teller. A mate, chained to the wall, and now free.

With six exit strategies, the Doctor realizes that this was always a rescue mission, not a bank heist. BEST EVER, RIGHT?!

He takes the Tellers to a quiet planet where they can be alone forever.

On the TARDIS, Team Not-Dead bonds over Chinese, and then they say goodbye. I really, really hope we see them again.

And then he drops Clara off for her date with Danny.

Such a great episode, right?! I just really liked it. I didn’t have to think too much, and it was just fun!

Thoughts and theories:

-Again no mention of the big season plot. Aside from the woman in the shop line.
-Will we see Psi and Saibra again?

Best Lines:

“Why’s your face all coloured in?”

“Still don’t understand why you’re in charge.”
“Basically it’s the eyebrows.”

“Shut up. Everybody, just, just shut up. Shut up, just shut up, shut up, shut up shutity shut up up up.”

“De-shut up!”

“Big scarf. Bow tie. Bit embarrassing. What do you think of the new look? I was going for minimalism, but I think I came out with magician.”

“Of course I’m kidding. It’s a time machine, not a miracle worker.”

Okay, watch the trailer for The Caretaker now, guys! JOHN FRICKIN’ SMITH!

See you next week! 

Doctor Who: Listen

YOU GUYS. I feel like I’ve been waiting YEARS for this episode! OH WAIT, I HAVE! Not since series five’s Vincent and the Doctor have I been this impressed, this touched, this emotional, and this much in love with Doctor Who. THIS WAS AN AMAZING EPISODE. MOFFAT IS BACK, BAYBEE. THE MAN IS A GENIUS. I’M SO SORRY I FORGOT THAT.

I mean, to tie in the War Doctor’s barn with this episode is just BRILLIANT! And Capaldi! MY GOD, CAPALDI! He KILLED IT in this episode! If you weren’t sure about him as the Doctor before, you HAVE to be now! He epitomized everything the Doctor is, and it was beautiful!

And if you missed it, Moffat went right back to episode one, The Unearthly Child, when Clara said, “Fear makes a companion of us all.” The very First Doctor said that exact same thing to Barbara. 

Isn’t that just perfect? Damn, I love it when Moffat does this to me! I’d let myself forget how he can make me feel! I LOVE STEVEN MOFFAT, YOU GUYS. DON’T LET ME FORGET AGAIN.

This is going to be an instant classic, and it’s now easily in my top five favourite episodes!

QUICK, LET US DISCUSS THIS THING OF BEAUTY! *queue angels singing*

“Listen”, is how we open, and listen is what we’ll do. The Doctor meditates on the top of the TARDIS as it floats above a planet—earth?

Inside the TARDIS, the Doctor wonders to himself why we talk out loud when we’re alone. He believes it’s because we’re never alone. How scary is THAT thought?!

He maintains that there’s perfect hunting, perfect defense…so why no perfect hiding? I mean, we’d never know if there was a creature that was the perfect hider, right? So…he wants to find it, of course!

He puts his chalk down as he talks to himself…or to whatever may be listening…but when he reaches for it again, it’s gone. We then see it on the floor, where it rolls into his foot. As he stands and glances at the empty chalkboard—it’s not empty anymore. The word, “Listen” is written….

COOL OPENING CREDITS TIME!

At Clara’s, she’s apparently had a horrible, horrible date with Danny. Okay, I’ma say this: I wish there didn’t have to be a romance in this show. Why is it that as soon as the Doctor regenerated into someone older, they had to add a handsome younger love interest for Clara? Ugh. Regardless, here he is, and I do like him.

During the date, Clara and Danny get on well, at first. Then they both stick their feet further and further into their mouths, and they just fight. Like, a lot. About everything. It’s weird.

Clara ends up storming off, and finds the Doctor hiding in her bedroom at home. He needs Clara for a “thing”, and she joins him in the TARDIS.  He explains his theory about a silent, hidden companion. What if no one is ever alone?

He shows her the “listen” written on the chalkboard. Clara says it looks like his handwriting. However, he says he doesn’t remember writing it…

He then explains about a certain nightmare everyone has; waking alone, in the dark. Putting your feet on the floor, and someone from under your bed grabbing your ankle…Doesn’t everyone have this dream? The Doctor has, Clara has, hell, even I have!

To find out when Clara has had this dream, the Doctor links her with the TARDIS. I didn’t know that could be done. Neat.

Clara needs to focus on when she had the dream, but her phone rings as she’s trying to concentrate.

The TARDIS lands and the Doctor is certain they’re in the right place. It’s a children’s home, in the mid-90s. The year is right.

The Doctor goes inside, and tells Clara to wait inside the TARDIS. Instead, she looks up to see a boy in a window. He calls to her, and they talk. He tells her his name is Rupert Pink, but that he wants to change it….Yup, she’s landed in DANNY’s childhood, not her own!

She sneaks inside to talk little Rupert-Danny as the Doctor is speaking to the night watchman (OH, HAI PSYCHIC PAPER!).

As Clara bonds with scared little Rupert under his bed, the springs creak as if someone sits on it. When they emerge, the bedspread takes the form of a person. THIS PART IS SO FREAKING CREEPY.

The Doctor has been watching from the chair, where he was trying to find Waldo in a book. Apparently Waldo, who’s called Wally in the UK, ISN’T in every book. WHAT THE HELL?!

He tells Rupert that being scared is like having a superpower. It makes a person stronger, faster, smarter, and the being scared is absolutely okay.

He guides them to the window. He tells Rupert and Clara to turn their backs on the thing under the bedspread; to not look at it, and to promise to never look at it. The bedspread monster pulls the bedspread off—we only get a blurry glimpse of what’s underneath—and then it runs out the door. DAT WAS THE CREEPIEST BEDSPREAD I’VE EVER SEEN.

Clara helps Rupert feel braver by using plastic soldiers. She places them so that they’ll watch over him as he sleeps. Rupert calls the head soldier, “Dan the soldier man”. The Doctor puts Rupert to sleep, and the two leave his timeline.

Back on the TARDIS, the Doctor wonders why the TARDIS landed at Rupert’s dream instead of Clara’s.  Clara lies/doesn’t tell him, and the Doctor mentions that Rupert won’t remember a thing because he gave the child a dream about being, “Dan the soldier man”. So, um, the Doctor pretty much made Danny Pink who he is. Ha!

Clara has the Doctor take her back to the end of her date with Danny, and she goes back in to try to fix things. She fails, but this time Danny’s the one who storms off, because he knows that Clara is lying about, well, pretty much everything.

Oddly, a man in a spacesuit, complete with full face mask—much like the Doctor’s familiar orange spacesuit!—beckons to Clara from the kitchen of the restaurant. Clara follows, where she finds, not the Doctor in the suit, but a man who looks exactly like Danny! The Doctor enters and explains that the man is Orson Pink, and he’s from one hundred years into her future.  The Doctor has used some of Clara’s psychic whatever stuff, and that brought him to Orson. So Orson must have something to do with Clara’s timeline. HAHAHAHA! Okay, so we’re supposed to think Clara and Danny have kids, hmm? That’s adorable!

The Doctor brings Clara back to where he found Orson—the end of the universe. No, not like in Utopia, a different end of the universe. The TARDIS isn’t supposed to go there, but he’d turned the safeguards off to bring them into Clara’s past earlier.

The Doctor explains that Orson is the very first time traveller, but he was over shot. Like, way over shot. He’s been stranded for 6 months, and the Doctor promises to take him home.

The Doctor tells Orson that the TARDIS needs to recharge, and so they need to stay where they are for one night. Orson doesn’t like that idea.

Clara puts him into the TARDIS to be safe, and from his bag falls a small toy soldier. Yep, it’s Dan the Soldier Man! A family heirloom that brings luck, as Orson explains.

Orson tells Clara that time travel runs in the family. According to a story, one of his great-grandparents was a time traveller. Orson gives the toy soldier to Clara.

Outside the TARDIS, Clara and the Doctor wait for whatever Orson was afraid of. Orson’s ship starts to make noise, clangs and bangs, and the Doctor explains them away. Temperature changes, pressure changes, systems switching to low power…But, of course, he doesn’t believe that.

Suddenly, there’s a knocking on the hatch—or is it the hull cooling? The Doctor needs to see, and unlocks the hatch. He orders Clara into the TARDIS, but he stays. He has to know…

Clara watches on the TARDIS viewer, which craps out as she watches. An alarm on Orson’s ship goes off. The hull has been breached. The Doctor holds on for dear life as things are sucked out. Orson grabs him and pulls him into the TARDIS.

The Doctor was hit on the head, and he’s unconscious. The cloister bell rings as the TARDIS shakes, and Clara once again joins with the TARDIS to try to get them home. They land, and Clara exits to see where they are.

It’s a barn full of hay. In a bed in a small loft, a child is crying. As she’s about to comfort the child, a man and woman enter, and Clara hides beneath the bed.

The man and woman remark on the crying child, and why he sleeps in the barn. The child doesn’t want anyone to hear that he cries. The woman tells the child that he’s welcome to sleep in the house, and that he’s not alone. As they leave, the man says that the boy can’t just run away and cry all the time if he wants to join the army. The woman says that the boy doesn’t want to join the army, and the man says, “Well he’s not going to the academy, is he? He’ll never make a Time Lord.” Right around here is when I started screaming. Like, literally screaming, “OH MY GOD OH MY GOD WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING THAT’S, WHAT, OH MY GODDDDDDDD”. My dogs freaked out. It was horrible. I scared the whole house. And then I started crying.

The Doctor in the TARDIS wakes, and yells for Clara. The boy hears, and calls out a, “Hello?”  Clara has also realized who the crying boy is, and as the boy puts his feet on the floor, she grabs his ankle. SHE GRABS HIS FREAKING ANKLE. SHE’S THE DREAM, YOU GUYS. IT WAS HER ALL ALONG!

She realizes what she’s done, and she tells the boy it’s all a dream. The boy lies back down in his bed, and Clara comforts him. We never get to see his face, which I’m VERY okay with, and she tells him to listen. She tells him she knows he’s afraid, and that being afraid is alright. Fear is a superpower that makes you cleverer, and stronger. And one day, he’s going to come back to this barn, (YOU GUYS, I’M SOBBING NOW. I CAN’T EVEN……MOFFAT, YOU DAMN GENIUS.) and he’s going to be very afraid. As we see the War Doctor walking to the barn—because when you’re afraid, you often go to the place that’s comforting and familiar and safe—Clara tells him that, on that day, if he’s very wise, and very strong, fear doesn’t have to make him cruel or cowardly, fear can make him kind. Clara tells him there’s nothing under the bed, or in the dark, and she tells him that it’s okay to be afraid. He’s always going to be afraid, but fear is like a constant companion. It’s always there, and that’s okay, because fear can bring people together, and fear can bring people home. And she leaves him Dan the Soldier Man so that he remembers that, “Fear makes companions of us all.” (SOBBING. JUST UGLY, UGLY SOBBING. THE SAME THING ONE SAID TO BARBARA. THE SAME FREAKING THING. EXACT WORDS. EXACT!)

On the TARDIS, the Doctor asks where they are. Clara tells him to leave; to just not look, and leave. He doesn’t like it, but trusts her, and leaves.

They drop Danny off in his time and say goodbye.

Then Clara hugs the Doctor, and he’s against the hugging. And I’m still freaking crying, but now I’m laugh-crying. It’s a huge mess. I’m a blubbering fool. It’s awesome. I love it.

Then Clara rings the bell at Danny’s, and the two make up, and smooch.

IT WAS THE SAME FREAKING BARN YOU GUYS. THE.SAME. BARN. AHHHHHHHHH THAT’S SO PERFECT. THAT WAS PERFECT WRITING. THAT WAS PERFECT EVERYTHING.

Okay, so who else is sure that Dan the Soldier Man is going to come into play again very soon, when both Danny and the Doctor pull him out of their pockets?! Ha!

Now, I’m hearing some grumbling about this episode. Some say that it’s all about Clara, again,  (It’s so not), and many just didn’t understand it. To those of you that feel this way, please watch it again. Please. If you still feel this way, than I guess you’re probably a Moffat-hating person, and there’s nothing I can say to change your mind.

To those of you who loved it, my kindred spirits, I adore you. You get it, and you get me. I heart you guys! ♥

I’ve also heard a few people asking these questions:
-Who was under the sheet?

 It was just a kid playing a joke. Another student trying to play a trick on Rupert. Nothing more, nothing less.

-Who moved the chalk?

No one, it fell. Stuff falls.

-Who made the noises?
No one, it was exactly the things the Doctor said it was. Pressure, temperature. Houses creak, spaceships clang.

Regardless, who cares?! Like in the episode, Midnight, not knowing makes it scarier!

Thoughts and theories:

-Clara is now all over the Doctor’s timeline, right from his childhood. However, he never actually sees her this time, so I have no problem with that. Yes, this makes Clara a very important companion. Perhaps the most important. Again, I have no problem with this. It doesn’t change how I feel about her, for better or worse.

-Why did the Doctor suddenly think this all up? I guess because he’s 2000 years old, a bit mad, and seemingly has been off travelling on his own, without Clara, for a while? I guess it doesn’t really matter, does it? It made for a great frickin’ story.

-Why was the TARDIS able to land on time-locked Gallifrey? I think for a couple of reasons. 1) The safeguards were off. 2) Gallifrey itself isn’t time locked. Only Gallifrey during the Time War is.

-I’m hearing that some people are saying the little boy in the bed wasn’t the Doctor, but the Master as a child. To those I say, “WHAT THE ACTUAL F**K?! What show were you watching, because it sure wasn’t this episode!”

-No Missy/Promised Land in this episode. I’m okay with that, too.

Best lines:

Why do you have three mirrors? Why don’t you just turn your head?

What’s wrong with your face, it’s all eyes, why are you all eyes?! Get them under control!

She’s doing to all eyes thing, it’s because her face is so wide, she needs three mirrors.

What’s that in the mirror, or the corner of your eye,
Footsteps following, but never passing by,
Perhaps they’re all just waiting,
Perhaps when we’re all dead,
Out they’ll come a’slithering,
From underneath the bed.

Okay, now go watch the trailer for Time Heist, and we’ll meet back here in a week! 

Doctor Who: Robot of Sherwood

A fun, light-hearted romp. That’s the way this episode will be described. And I guess it was. I mean, it’s amusing, if kinda boring.  The banter between Robin and the Doctor, while funny at first, got old and tired quickly.

I’m still waiting to be knocked off my feet. I really miss episodes like Blink, 42, Turn Left, Silence in the Library, Human Nature…When do we get those types of episodes back?

I have HUGE hopes for next week’s Listen. The things I’m hearing put it on par, or even above the previously mentioned episodes. 
I truly hope so, because, man, I really miss the show I fell in love with.

Okay, on to Robot of Sherwood.

The Doctor asks Clara where she wants to go, and out of all of time and space, she chooses Sherwood forest. She wants to meet Robin Hood. Of course, the Doctor tells her that Robin Hood wasn’t a real person, but he takes her to the forest in 1190-ish AD anyway.

The Doctor is proven wrong when an arrow finds its way into the door of the TARDIS, and a rather attractive man presents himself as Robin Hood.

Robin decides that he wants the TARDIS, and he and the Doctor fight for it. The Doctor brandishes a…spoon? And Robin uses his sword.

Clara watches on gleefully, wearing a gorgeous red dress. And may I say that Mr. Gatiss, the writer of this episode, finally does Clara some justice? I enjoyed the way she was written, and I feel that she’s finally showing some strength and character! Well done, my good man!

The Doctor wins the spoon-fight, but he’s knocked into the water when Robin comes up behind him. 
Meanwhile, the evil Sheriff of Nottingham is kidnapping maidens, stealing gold, and killing townspeople. Y’know, like evil Sheriff’s do. 

Robin brings Clara and the Doctor to the Merry Hideout, and introduces them to his Merry Men. The Doctor spends that time trying to prove that the men aren’t actually real. I think it’s supposed to be funny? I didn’t find it funny.

Robin tells Clara about the Sheriff, Prince John, and the loss of his lands, titles, and his love, Marian. 
The Doctor comments on how warm and green Sherwood Forest is, considering it’s autumn. What are you getting at, Doctor? Hmm.

Robin, the Doctor, Clara and the Merry Men attend an archery contest, to win a golden arrow. No one actually wins the contest because they all just keep shooting arrows into the previous arrow and splitting the arrows….that’s a lot of arrows. And then the Doctor explodes the target with the sonic screwdriver. And then the Doctor, Clara and Robin are found out and tossed into the dungeons. But before that, Robin slices an arm off a knight, and discovers that it’s a robot. Did anyone else yell at the screen, “IT’S JUST A FLESH WOUND!”? 

Also, the robots shoot frickin’ laser beams out of their frickin’ heads, and they kill a labourer who’s working in the gold-counting-melting place as the kidnapped maiden cries. Who else figured out that she’s Maid Marian? Yaaaaay, we’re awesome at guessing stuff!

In the dungeon, the Doctor and Robin bicker, and this is by far the best part of the episode. Yes, it’s cheesy and corny, but it’s also frickin’ hilarious…at least until it gets boring.

Clara finally gets fed up and screams for them to shut up. IT’S ABOUT FRICKIN’ TIME.
After Clara finds out the neither of them have a plan—and good on her for calling out the over-use of the sonic screwdriver!—she’s taken to the Sheriff, because she’s quite obviously the true ringleader of the group.

Back with the labourers, we see that only gold is being melted down and crafted into…something.
In the dungeon, Robin comes up with a plan that gets them out of there. It fails, for the most part, but they do get free, eventually. This really wasn’t a funny or interesting bit. That’s why I’m glossing over it. 

Clara does some good guesswork and flattery, and wheedles the story out of the Sheriff. He tells her that he witnessed a spaceship crash and the robots promised him that he would rule the world if he helped them get their ship back up and running. 

The Doctor and Robin find the spaceship, and the Doctor discovers that it was headed for ‘The Promised Land’. Well. Isn’t that a freaking coincidence! 

The engines are damaged and leaking radiation, which is why the forest is still sunny and green. The Doctor even says that the Sheriff and Robin himself are illusions, created by the ship to blend in.

Now, here’s a sweet and touching bit. As the Doctor is showing Robin the ship’s memory banks, they see a wonderful thing—a photo of the Second Doctor, Patrick Troughton, before he was the Doctor!
Yes, he played Robin Hood before he was in Doctor Who! Patrick Troughton himself is now a part of Doctor Who canon, haha! 

As Robin and the Doctor argue about whether or not Robin is real, the Sheriff, Clara and the robot knights enter the ship. To escape, Robin grabs Clara and jumps out the window and into the water below. 

As the Doctor talks to the Sheriff, he realizes why they need the gold—they’re making a matrix out of gold, and that will help the ship to fly again. Oooookay. I’m gonna have to take their word for that, because it pretty much makes no sense to me at all.

The Doctor warns the Sheriff that there’s too much damage, and that he’s “stoking a giant bomb”. And then he’s knocked out.

He wakes with the labourers, and Maid Marian, who we’re not supposed to know is Maid Marian. The engines are starting, but the Doctor knows they don’t have enough power to make orbit. If the Sheriff tries to fly the ship, it’ll explode and wipe out most of England.

The labourers begin a revolt, and use gold platters to reflect the frickin’ laser beams back onto the robot knights, destroying them. The labourers all escape, and Marian kisses the Doctor’s cheek to thank him. His reaction is very sweet. He still doesn’t seem to realize that he IS a hero.

Clara wakes in the forest, with Robin and the Merry Men. She tells Robin everything she knows about the legend of Robin Hood. 

The Sheriff appears and he and the Doctor banter.  The Doctor tries to explain about the exploding thing, and mentions fake Robin Hood. The Sheriff denies that Robin is a robot, and the man himself shows up to save the day. 

Robin and the Sheriff fight and Robin uses the Doctor’s move on the Sheriff. The Sheriff falls to his death into the molten gold. 

The Doctor, Clara and Robin escape the ship just before it takes flight. The Doctor knows there’s no way the ship will make it into orbit, and the three of them work together shoot the golden arrow—which the merry men happen to have on them—into the ship. WHY THE HELL DID THAT EVEN WORK NONE OF THIS MAKES ANY SENSE.

Regardless of why it works, the ship makes it into orbit, where it promptly explodes. 
With the world saved, Clara says goodbye to Robin. And then the Doctor says goodbye to Robin after Robin says some nice, touching words and stuff. 

The Doctor enters the TARDIS and tells Clara he’s leaving a present for Robin…iThe TARDIS dematerializes, and there’s Maid Marian. D’AWW, YOU GUYS TWU WUV! Then there’s smooching, and arrows shot into the air, and THE END.

So, yeah. This was better than the first two episodes, but still pretty meh.

But guys. GUYS. DID YOU EVEN SEE THAT FRICKIN’ TRAILER FOR NEXT WEEK?!?! OH MY GOOOOODDDDDDDDDDD. 
Guys, this could be the big one. THIS COULD BE IT. THE BEST SINCE BLINK. 
I HAVE HOPE!

Okay, thoughts and  theories:

Robot of Sherwood was very much like Deep Breath—Robots from the future, trying to repair ship to get to the Promised Land.

What was the Doctor calculating on the chalkboard at the beginning?

Why are the robots trying to get to the Promised Land? 

What and where is the Promised Land?!

Who is Missy?! Could she be Clara? (*gasp!*)

Best Lines: 

“And do people ever punch you in the face when you do that?”

“When did you start believing in impossible heroes?” 
“Don’t you know?”

“Shut it, Hoody.”

The whole first dungeon scene between Robin and the Doctor.

See you all next week, for what I hope is the BEST EPISODE, EVAR!