TV Recap: Penny Dreadful-- Grand Guignol

Photo courtesy of Showtime

It’s been a short, great 8 weeks, you guys! This series sucked me in from the get-go, and it wasn’t at all what I thought it would be…it was BETTER!

We saw Eva Green amaze us, we fell in love with one of Frankenstein’s monsters, and we despised another. We gave our hearts to a pretty boy that seemingly never ages, and became intrigued with a gunslinger from the wild west. We’ve hunted vampires, searched faces for werewolves, not talked about dog-rat fight clubs, and squealed at body parts strewn across a room. You guys, what a journey it’s been!

Now, we come to the end of season one, and I have a feeling that THIS is going to top every damn thing we’ve seen so far.

Ready? Here we go!

We begin where last week ended, with Vanessa and Malcolm discussing Mina. They make plans to try to find her that evening. As Malcolm exits, Dorian enters.

Eager Dorian, trying so hard to please and impress. Vanessa’s not having it. It’s actually kinda unattractive. Stoppit, Dorian.

Over at Brona’s, she’s not doing well at all. Chandler is by her bedside, crying and praying. Outside, we see two men who are apparently there for Chandler. They lurk in the shadows, waiting for the right time to strike…

Malcolm decides to go shopping, and purchases one of the first automatic weapons ever made. The bullets will stop an elephant, which is good because the Master is WAY scarier than an elephant. Like, WAAAAAY scarier.

As Malcolm is finishing his gun business, he runs into Madame Kali—who’s going by her true name, Evelyn  The two do some flirting. It’s weird. I don’t like her. She’s fishy.

At the theater, rehearsals are happening, but Caliban screws up. The star gets pissed, and he gets all mean with Caliban. Jerk.

Caliban gets sad…did anyone else think he was going to break into song on that stage? I mean, he kept looking up, like he was reflecting. I really expected a song to begin! Penny Dreadful, The Musical! OMG, I’D WATCH THE SHIT OUTTA THAT.

Caliban goes back to lurking under the stage, and Maude stops by to bring him an orange. He quotes Paradise Lost lines at her. She has no idea what he’s even saying. She just likes oranges, dude.

Maude apologizes for her boyfriend’s meanness, and then kisses Caliban on the forehead. Oh, girl. That was a hugely bad move. See, now Cali’s going to think Maude LIKE-likes him, when she really only sees him the same way she sees her poor burned, disfigured brother. So, is Caliban going to demand Victor make Maude his bride now? Let’s see!

Back at Malcolm’s, he’s playing with his gun. You guys, I’m not doing this again this week! YOU HAVE DIRTY MINDS.

He and Vanessa get into a tiff, and he basically tells her that he’s using her for her connection to Mina, and that he’ll sacrifice her in a heartbeat if need be. Way to be honest there, Sir Malcolm! Man, she just got over being possessed, y’know. You could be a little easier on her for a while!

Again at the theater—man, we’re jumping all over the damn place tonight—Caliban, um…does his makeup? Yeah, see what you did, Maude?! I knew this was gonna happen!

Caliban definitely took Maude’s forehead kiss the wrong way, and Maude is now incredibly creeped out. I mean, his makeup is HIDEOUS. Dude needs lessons. Someone should tell him that Sephora gives them....er, wait. There was no Sephora in nineteenth century England. Nevermind.

So Maude freaks out, Caliban pretty much attacks her, and he’s kicked out of the theater/his home.

Vincent says goodbye with a hug, and with that, my Jekyll/Hyde theory goes out the window. I was sure that Vincent was Jekyll. Damn! WHAT A LET DOWN. L

OHHHH, DID YOU SEE THAT, THO?! The Master is sleeping up in the theater rafters! THAT WAS CREEPY.

Vanessa and Dorian meet in the greenhouse. Vanessa’s all, “Dude, I guess I should explain why I ran off, huh? Y’see, when we boinked, it made the devil possess me, and we can’t boink anymore.”

Dorian’s like, “Nono, it’s all good. I’m not afraid. It’s all good, bae.”

Vanessa goes, “DUDE. NOT KIDDING HERE. I was LITERALLY the devil. It SUCKED. But here, have a kiss, and this is called rejection, and you need to be feeling that right now because, BURN, I’m totally rejecting you.”

So Dorian’s all, “OMGWTFBBQ?! I HAZ A SAD WAT IS DIS WET ON MAH FACE?!”

And then Dorian was crying and my loins were all, “OHMYGAWD TAKE ME INSTEAD I LOVE YOU MORE THAN SHE EVER WILL SHE’S A HARPY.”

But then my brain was like, “Um, idiot, it’s a frickin’ TV SHOW. He can’t even hear you, shut up.”

And that’s what happened. CRAZY, RITE?!

Oh, hi, Victor! Apparently Caliban went home, because he’s at Victor’s place. And then, wow. Wow. That speech. It literally brought me to tears. Just when I think I hate him with a passion I’ve never known, he goes and speaks so beautifully and sadly and eloquently. The writers on this show are a cut above. That was absolutely stunning.

Of course, Victor is also smitten with Caliban’s words, and he puts away the gun he has taken out. He even starts to comfort Caliban, when he’s interrupted by Chandler knocking on the door. Hmm, I wonder what he could want?!

Okay, you guys I think I have a problem, and his name is Eddie Redmayne. I apparently see the guy EVERYWHERE, and tonight’s episode was no different. Didn’t Victor seem a bit Eddie Redmayne-like to you?! He’s my boyfriend, you know. Eddie Redmayne. SHUT UP HE IS TOO MY BOYFRIEND. I wonder why the hell I see him in so many freaking actors all the time. THAT’S WEIRD.

Okay, so Chandler brings Victor to Brona’s, and SHIT GOES DOWN. Victor KILLS Brona while Chandler is out of the room. THAT’S INTENSE. I did NOT even see that coming at all!

But it looks like our theory was right! Brona is about to become a bride!

Heartbroken-Chandler finds the nearest bar, and his American stalkers find him. Those guys are in trooouuuuuuble. Chandler’s going to put the hurt on them, and also he might eat them!

The stalkers explain that they’re Pinkerton men, hired by Chandler’s pops to bring him home. Duh. No shit.

Yep, Chandler beats the crap out of both men, “We have underestimated our prey, Mr. Kidd.” Hahahahaha, y’think?!

Sad Chandler is sad, and he takes a minute to calm himself outside the theater. Close to wolfing-out, perhaps? 

The rest of the Scoobies arrive, and they enter the theater. They wander around in the dark, because apparently all of the lamps are taken home after closing time?

It’s all creepy and spooky, until their light shines on the Master, he wakes up, and the battle begins!

Chandler falls through the trap door in the stage, and Sembene and Victor follow him down. The three men do battle under the stage with the creepy white-haired vamps, as Malcolm battles the Master in the rafters.

Guns are blazing, Sembene’s wicked knife is slashing, Victor is trying his best not to freak out and keep up, but the white-vamps overwhelm the under-stage trio! Is this their end?! Must we say goodbye to our trio?! BUT WAIT!

In the rafters, Malcolm pulls out his sword and STABS the Master, saving Vanessa! The Master falls to the stage, but he’s not yet dead! Malcolm scrambles after the head vampire, and once again stabs him through the heart! After a few final gasps, the Master dies…and with him, all of the white-vamps surrounding our trio!

THE SCOOBIES ARE SAVED! MALCOLM THE EFFING VAMPIRE SLAYER!

Mina comes out of the shadows, and it’s a wonderful reunion! Mina is saved, everyone will live happily ever…..oh. Well, shit. Mina is a vampire.

She takes Vanessa and tells her father how awesome life will be when they’re all vampires and living with the Master.

HOLY CRAP, SO THAT VAMP WASN’T THE MASTER! There’s still some head-vamp out there. IT’S DRACULA, I KNOW IT IS.

Mina is about to bite Vanessa, when Malcolm shoots her. WHHHHHAAAAAAAT?!

Mina exclaims, “I am your daughter!”

Malcolm, in a wonderfully touching moment, looks over to Vanessa and says, “I already have a daughter.”, and shoots Mina dead. WELL HOLY. CRAP.

Later at Malcolm’s, he and Vanessa cry and hug and mourn. He’s not going to Africa, and now they need to get a Christmas tree. It’s very sad. I need a hug.

Victor? Oh, he’s back at his lab, creating a bride for his monster. Out of Brona’s dead corpse.

And Chandler? Well, he’s drinking again, and the Pinkerton men find him, again. But it’s okay, because HE FUCKING WOLFS OUT AND KILLS EVERYONE, AND I WAS SCREAMING AND LAUGHING BECAUSE I’M APPARENTLY A VERY DISTURBED INDIVIDUAL AND I WAS SO RIGHT ABOUT HIM HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Crap, sorry about that. I get a bit excited sometimes…

In the end, Malcolm allows himself to feel his guilt.

Chandler once again wakes up under the pier, and we now know that he is indeed the ripper.

And Vanessa goes to church to talk exorcisms, but instead faces a question: Does she really want to be normal?

WHAT A FINALE! I thought it was the perfect end to a really amazing first season. It was more low-key than most season finales, but I’m okay with that because we got SO many crazy episodes, especially the penultimate (goddamn I love that word) episode. I’m almost grateful for a quiet finale after that insane, fast-paced, dark and disturbing thing!

So let’s look forward to season 2. What should we expect?

-Brona will come back, but she won’t have her memories. I think she’ll have flashes, but she won’t remember Chandler until they actually see each other. And they WILL see each other.

-Chandler will still love Brona, monster and all. He did say to her that he’d love her, no matter who she became, right?

-Maybe a fight for Brona, between Chandler and Caliban?

-We’ll (hopefully) find out how Chandler could remove Vanessa’s demon with a necklace and a prayer?

-Vanessa will have to decide; exorcism or not. I bet she chooses exorcism, but of course, it won’t work for a long while, if at all.

-We WILL finally meet the Master, who will be Dracula. And he’ll be pissed.

-Perhaps a romance between Vanessa and Dracula?

-I have no idea what will happen with Victor, but I look forward to finding out!

-Yet another romance between Madame Kali and Malcolm? Perhaps.

-Chandler will try to get his wolf-side back under control. Perhaps he’ll tell Victor, who will help him?

-SEMBENE BACKSTORY PLEASE.

-Dorian. Wow, where will they take Dorian? We may catch a glimpse of his painting, but no more than that. There will definitely be another romance, so maybe they’ll bring in a new cast member? A witch? The mummy?  Bigfoot?

What are your theories for season two? And your thoughts about season one?

Thanks for sticking around and reading my little recaps, you guys! You were all really awesome, and it was a pleasure each week to talk to so many fun, friendly and like-minded Penny Dreadful lovers!

Until next season, always carry a stake…and a wicked-cool Sembene blade! You never know where you’ll meet the Master! ;)