TV Recap: Penny Dreadful--Demimonde

Photo courtesy of Showtime

Welcome back to Penny Dreadful! Did everyone have a good week? No one was eaten by vampires? Great! Let’s get started then, shall we?

We open with an orgy at Dorian’s house. Wait, what?! Um…O…kay?

After all the orgy people are gone, Dorian is angry because he has a HUGE mess to clean up in his house. We follow him into his sooper seekrit room, and THERE’S his painting! I mean, we don’t see it, but it HAS to be his painting, right?! I wanna seeeeeee!

Then, BOOM. Creepy credits!

And then, Vanessa, sitting on a bench outside a church. A little girl comes and they have a weird, pointless conversation? About zombies…or heaven…I have no freaking idea what that conversation was about.

But we see why Vanessa is on the bench—she’s waiting for Dorian, who she’s apparently now stalking! Well, can’t say I blame her…

She follows him to a greenhouse, where the two flirt over the flowers. Now, if you watch very closely, it’s as if Vanessa is taken over by someone? Something?, just before she begins to speak to Dorian, and then the thing seems to leave her again just after he departs for the theater. Did you catch it? Hmm. So then, is it Vanessa who’s smitten with dear Dorian, or is it the thing inside her? Regardless, I’m liking this romance much more than Brona and Chandler.

Meanwhile, Victor and Van Helsing (HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!) are studying Vampire Fenton’s blood. Apparently Malcolm brought Van Helsing in to help Victor find a cure for the vampire disease.

Victor glances outside, and who’s there waiting for him, but Caliban. Caliban demands again that Victor make him a bride, more threats, yadda, yadda…Who wants to bet it’ll be Brona?! DATS MY THEORY, YO!

Next we see Brona and Chandler, and I can’t. I just can’t with that horrible, horrible accent! It’s just SO BAD.

Brona tells Chandler about her abusive past, and that she became a whore to get away from that abuse. Chandler tells her that he’s done bad shit too, so it’s all good.

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT’S EVEN HAPPENING IN THIS SHOW ANYMORE. I mean these scenes! Do they mean ANYTHING?! Are they just pointless filler?! I don’t care about why she-with-the-horrid-accent is a whore. Does anyone care?!

Back at Malcolm’s, Victor sedates Fenton before his blood transfusion. Victor asks Chandler to assist by giving his own blood, but Chandler refuses and gives a very vague reason, making me even more sure that HE’S A WEREWOLF, Y’ALL!

Sir Malcolm volunteers his blood, and the boys retire to the drawing room afterwards to bicker. I have no idea if that’s actually the drawing room, but it felt cool to write that. DRAWRING ROOM. See, I can even type with an accent. I’m multi-talented, you guys!

Right, so they bicker and call each other names, after yet ANOTHER hint about Chandler being a werewolf. Y’see, Victor is questioning the slaughter of the mother and daughter again as he reads it in the paper. They know it’s not vampire because the bodies aren’t drained. He also knows it’s not Caliban, because he’s too refined—and he’d also pretty much take his own wife by force if he was that kind of monster. Chandler becomes upset at the chatter, which, again, reiterates to me that he’s a wolf, and he knows who’s doing the killing. Although wouldn’t a werewolf eat the whole body instead of flinging it around the house, and only eating a few organs? Picky werewolves, I guess?

Vanessa arrives home, and Fenton wakes. Needless to say, the transfusion hasn’t worked. He’s hungry and wants blood.

Chandler discusses ethics with Vanessa before he leaves, and downstairs, Victor and Malcolm are trying to figure out how to get Fenton some food when Semebene wanders up carrying a cat, snaps its neck and drops it in front of the vampire. Hahaha!

Brona and Chandler go on their date…to the theater!

We see Caliban under the stage as he prepares for the show, and he’s almost a completely different character! That open, happy smile he gives to his drunk-friend! That was wonderful!

Brona watches the play with the joy of a child. The camera pans up, and we see Dorian in one upper wing, and, oh! There’s Vanessa across the way in the other upper wing. And now our players are all set? Let’s watch!

Caliban is working his ass off to put on this show. I mean, the guy does all the behind the scenes stuff! He needs a raise!

At Malcolm’s, Victor and Malcolm have a heart-to-heart. Everyone’s having freaking touching conversations all over the damn place.

Victor appears jealous that Malcolm has asked Chandler to accompany him on his next excursion to Africa. Malcolm explains to Victor that Chandler is just a hired gun. Victor is something more. Victor seems to enjoy being told that. I think he must have daddy issues…

And in the cellar, Fenton starts gnawing his hand off to get to his Master. Gross, dude. Gross.

Upstairs, the men hear noises on the second floor.

Back in the cellar, Fenton has gotten free of his shackles, and he’s gone.

THIS IS SO INTENSE, YOU GUYS.

The men go up to investigate the noise.

And Fenton quietly follows, crawling on his hands and knees.

The men open a bedroom door, and OHMYGAWDTHEMASTERTHEMASTERAHHHHHHHH! FENTON ATTACKS SIR MALCOLM! THE MASTER IS THERE! FENTON YELLS THAT VANESSA ISN’T THERE. THE MASTER FLEES THROUGH THE WINDOW. THIS IS REALLY REALLY SCARY.

Fenton and Malcolm continue to fight! Suddenly, Fenton is impaled on a piece of glass from the window! It goes right into the back of his head! Fenton dies. RIP, Fenton. L

At the theater, there’s a hilariously awkward situation arising! During intermission, our four players, Brona, Chandler, Vanessa and Dorian, come across one another at the same time. Brona is VERY uncomfortable, y’know, seeing as her last freaking client was Dorian, and she flees into the street, which is pretty childish, really. I mean, why not act like Dorian did? They had sex. Big whoop. There’s no need to run away like she did something wrong. Weird Brona!

Chandler follows Brona, and she goes crazy and TOTALLY overreacts. She gets jealous, and then she comes to the conclusion that she’s not from the same world as Chandler. She basically tells him to eff off, she slaps him, and then she tells him that if he wants to continue sleeping with her, he’ll have to pay like everyone else. So. That happened?

Dorian comes out into the street after Brona runs off,  and he and Chandler decide to ditch the theater and go get drunk, like you do after you’re dumped, amirite?!

Poor Vanessa is left all alone at the theater, but oh, what’s this? Sembene watches her. Now is that HIS doing, or is he following Sir Malcolm’s orders—although Malcolm DID say that he’d given his man the night off. Curious!

Dorian takes Chandler to a, um…..a dog-rat fight club? WEIRDEST FIGHT CLUB EVER. …wait, am I going to get beaten for this?! Is the first rule of dog-rat fight club to not talk about dog-rat fight club?!

Chandler gets all freaked out. The poor guy just wanted to get his drink on! He finds a bar in the corner, and tries to do just that. Unfortunately, he finds himself in the middle of a few higher born English blokes and a fight happens. A people fight, not a dog-rat fight. Although that’s still going on in the ARGH, I’M NOT SUPPOSED TO BE TALKING ABOUT DOG-RAT FIGHT CLUB.

Dorian brings Chandler back to his place after the D-O-G-R-A-T F-I-G-H-T C-L-U-B (wait, spelling things out doesn’t really work unless I’m actually talking. DAMMIT.), and they talk about…cologne. That’s freaking weird.

And then they drink some green stuff. Absinthe, I guess? And Dorian toasts to Vanessa. That’s freaking weird too.

The bros have a talk like no other two bros have ever talked. They talk about art, paintings, music. They get DEEP. Chandler even almost gets emotional when thinking about some cave paintings he saw one time! THIS IS ALL SO FREAKING WEIRD.

Back at Malcolm’s, Vanessa returns home. Malcolm explains what’s happened. They argue about Mina, and why she’d want to hurt Vanessa. It sounds like the two were friends once. So how is Vanessa connected to Malcolm, then?!

Again at Dorian’s, the men listen to an opera. The music, and probably the drink, has an effect on Chandler. Visions—memories, flash as he listens. Good memories and bad. They seem to overwhelm him. Suddenly, Chandler rushes to Dorian and grabs him by the neck! …and plants a kiss on Dorian’s lips. The episode ends as the two begin to undress each other tenderly.

WHAT THE ACTUAL F**K JUST HAPPENED?!

Wait; do I say that at the end of every episode? I feel like I say that every week!

But I seriously can’t believe that just happened!

I mean, I totally ship it, but I did NOT see that coming! Man, Chandler’s gonna be weirded out about the whole thing!

Okay, thoughts:

Does Dorian have some strange effect that makes people fall in love/lust with him?
What’s the connection between Vanessa and Malcolm?
Why does the Master want Vanessa?
Is Vanessa carrying another person/thing inside her?
Can Brona please die already? (That accent, ugh)
What is Dorian’s fascination with Vanessa?
What’s Semebene’s story?
Who’s the Master?
Where’s Mina?
Will Victor make Caliban a bride? Who will he choose?
Is it okay to talk about dog-rat fight club?

Until next week, all!

And don’t forget--demons are like obedient dogs; they come when they are called. (-Remy de Gourmont)
So DON’T go calling any demons, because I’m NOT going to clean up your mess!